Jim Rohn is quoted as saying “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”   How true is that statement for you?

I don’t know how precisely that idea proves itself out in each life, but I know I want to surround myself with people who are positive, successful, kind, generous, funny, smart, conscious, spiritual, compassionate, creative and loving – people who want to make the world a better place. And I expect that being conscious of who I hang out with will definitely impact who I am as a person, and how I show up in the world.

Napolean Hill, author of the classic self-help book Think and Grow Rich (originally published in 1937 and still selling today), is credited with introducing the concept of Masterminding.   The Mastermind Group is pretty much the original crowd-sourced problem-solving and brainstorming tool.  Basically, a Mastermind is when a group of people meet together to help each other solve problems, produce brilliant ideas, find accountability and move forward to create success.

I’ve been involved in Spiritual Masterminds, Business Masterminds, and Personal Development Masterminds.  I’ve participated in groups as small as 4 people, and groups of a dozen, 2 dozen, even into the hundreds.  Online groups and in-person groups.  One-day Masterminds and groups that have met weekly or monthly for years.  I’ve had a wonderful experience in each of these formats.

It is also one of the ways that I’ve made sure to surround myself with people who display the qualities and attributes that I value most, the ones I mentioned above.

But I didn’t always recognize the power of community this way…

Yes, I’ve always had friends and family that I love and respect and hangout with, of course.  But I didn’t always seek support when I needed it.  In fact for much of my life I was invested in being extremely self-sufficient. I didn’t want to EVER have to ask for help with ANYTHING.  That period in my life came to an abrupt halt when I tried to fix a crumbling marriage on my own, and it didn’t happen. And then of course I got another opportunity to ask for support – my [ridiculously terrible] divorce.

I still remember the day I realized I needed to ask for help.  I suddenly saw very clearly the wonderfully supportive group of friends and family I had in my life, but I also saw that I needed to be willing to reach out and ask for help.  Inside I was falling apart, but I was so good at covering up my internal agony with a big external smile that most of the time no one noticed how much pain I was experiencing.  That day I recognized that unless I was willing to get real, to be honest, and allow others to give me support, I was going to really have a total meltdown hard time getting through it. I had to reach out and I had to reach out right away.

So I did.  I called one friend, and I told her what was going on.  I called my sisters.  I called another friend.  I cried.  I let myself fall apart, just a little. 🙂  And I felt instant relief. I found validation, support, acknowledgment, friendship, and unconditional love. They were strong for me when I couldn’t be.  And they didn’t judge me.  I reached out and they reached back.  It was a turning point in my life.

I realized during those couple of years just how important it is to ask for support when I need it…and to have that support system in place by being involved in community, by being supportive and loving for others when they are in that place of needing support, too.

And so now, I live a little differently.  I consciously seek out groups, masterminds, teachers, coaches, healers…whoever it is that can support me when I need support, and places where I can contribute to others when they need support too.  It takes a village, I’ve heard.

One of the places I’ve met a lot of great people and am involved in a wonderful online Mastermind  is Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Biz & Life Academy.  I hang out there quite a bit, with a whole group of pretty amazing women goddesses.

However you decide to surround yourself with awesome people, start today.  And don’t worry about letting it all hang out when you find a group that fits you.  Vulnerability is powerful.  Being authentic and honest is what creates powerful connection.  Those powerful connections are directly related to how we show up in the world, how much energy we have to make things happen, how successful we are at creating Love & Magic in our own lives, and how much power we have to make the world a better place.

Love & Magic,

Image courtesy of thaikrit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net