Everything you want…
Broken hearts…my logical mind keeps telling me that this is NOT something I should be writing about at Valentine’s Day.
BUT my intuition is coming at me full force about it…so I’m going to go with my gut here and just write.
Broken hearts happen for all different reasons…our hearts break because our relationships break, or end, or don’t meet our expectations.
We endure brokenheartedness because we endure loss, and loss is a common part of our human experience. All manner of losses – we lose lovers and loved ones, pets, health, finances, jobs and career opportunities, hopes and dreams. And loss is hard.
In fact, one study found that we fear loss twice as much as we appreciate gain, that we experience in double measure the pain of loss, as opposed to the pleasure of a similar gain. The technical term for this is loss aversion. We are wired to be averse to losses. Loss – we don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good. And when the loss is particularly painful, we often refer to it as “having our heart broken.”
So to some extent we’ve all experienced it, and I hate knowing that…I really hate knowing that you have experienced having your heart broken. Because I’ve been there, and it sucks.
I also know that everything you want is on the other side of your broken heart.
At one time I really tried to resist this particular aspect of my purpose, my calling, helping to bring more Love and more Magic into the world by helping people heal their broken hearts.
My logical mind (there she goes again) gave me lots of reasons to go in other directions, “There has to be something better”, ol’ logic brain would say. “Why would you want to spend so much time dealing in this area?” or “You have decades of knowledge and experience in the realm of nutritional healing, you should be a health coach” and “the real opportunities are in coaching around business, you’re a certified business coach, you should do that.” At times my left brain would even argue, “Why don’t you just read tarot cards for people, you’re amazing at it (wait was *that* my left brain?) or the constant whisper of “You’ll have to end up being a dating coach if you go into this relationship area you know.” And on and on and on the logical mind would argue and resist…
And I think that all of those logical thoughts are valid. I mean, Why? Why would I want to follow a path that in large part is a constant reminder of hearts being broken?
Broken by life’s dark side, broken by mean spirited beings who have ignored you or lashed out at you or dashed your dreams or counted you as unworthy.
Broken by hard knocks, and hard losses and missed opportunities and deception and disrespect or abuse or just getting dealt a bad hand.
Broken by unfairness, and illness, and too many years going by without realizing any big dreams (or not enough small dreams) coming true.
Isn’t that a really depressing arena to decide to work in?, I was asking myself.
But then one day I stood out in the sunshine, listening to birds sing and bees buzz and feeling so damn amazing that I had managed to manifest such a seriously wonderful life and relationship, and recognizing that it all came pouring forth out of my own broken heart, out of my own painful experience of heartbreak and healing and I realized that to me, right now, there could not be one single thing more powerful, more noble, more magical – than helping you heal up the places inside that feel broken.
Because here is what I know…
…that everything you want is on the other side of your broken heart
…that your deepest wounds are directly connected to your life purpose
…that there are NO missing pieces in the Universe, you are NOT just taking up space – you are precious, you are needed, you have a purpose, a calling, and you belong here.
And that you really do have what it takes to heal, to be whole, to be full of the most amazing and magical shining energy.
You have that power within you, I promise.
Sometimes it seems impossible to see beyond the pain of loss, the blinding all consuming pain of brokenheartedness. But once you begin to heal even a little bit, once you let the light in just a peep, once you begin to get quiet enough to listen to that still, small, strong, wise voice within you, those wishes and dreams and hopes start to get a foothold, a little nurturing and suddenly a sprout here and a sprout there, and finally a bud, a blossom and then a full bloom, and fruit.
Today I wish you Love. I wish you Peace. I wish you Healing and Wholeness.
I wish for you the experience of recognizing that the opportunities for more love and more magic and more of everything you want are right here, right now – right there on the other side of your brokenheartedness.
You are loved. 🙂
Love & Magic,
I just posted on the forum in GVU( like 20 min ago!).. basically about heartbreak. And, I have been reading some of these posts (which I love) and this is the one I stopped on today to read!! You are amazing and I appreciate you sharing these SO much!!!
Thank you for what you do!
Jeri
Aww Jeri thank you for letting me know. I’m so glad that this post resonated with you, and I send you all good wishes for your heart to be healed, whole, and full of joy. xoxo
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Thank you for this inspirational post on broken hearts. I have had my heart broken many times in my life, but this has lead to me learning something valuable in my life. I had a brother–Rick, who was my protector and my hero. I was sexually abused as a young child and my brother knew about this. I come from a large family–3 older brothers, one older sister, one younger sister and a half sister from my Dad’s second marriage. So when I say Rick was a really strong light in my life. When Rick was 37 years old, he was working in another province in Canada–where he was tragically injured in a work place accident. Rick was married to his wife–Judy, they had four children–ages 5, 7, 10 and 11 years of age. I won’t go into all of the details invovled with this traumatic experience. My brother–Rick received 90% burns to his body, when his wife finally arrived to where Rick was in hospital, my brother had gone into a coma. She walked into the room and Rick started to jerk around in the bed, Judy would later tell us that Rick communicated he did not want his children to see him like this { the only thing that wasn’t covered in bandages were his feet . I never really questioned how Rick communicated this to Judy, until on the 22nd anniversary of his death. Judy, my Mom and Rick’s two older girls, and I got together that day because everyone had questions about the things that had happened before Rick’s passing. I asked Judy–you said Rick communicated he did not want the kids to see him like he was, how did he tell you that? did you look into his eyes? Judy then said, Donna–Rick had no face left, his spirit came into the hospital room and I lay beside him talking to his spirit. All of the nurses and Doctors were crying, watching this precious moment between Rick and Judy. The day of his accident was January 7, 1992–he was taken off life support on the morning of January 8, 1992 and passed shortly after that. My heart was broken, and even though it will be 23 years in January 2015, I miss him every day. I often talk to him, and have felt his presence in my soul. I have had many other experiences of having my heart broken, but this by far is the deepest loss felt through my heart. I hope this was okay to post this on your site–Cindie, if it is not, then please delete it. I just really needed to share this important heart broken story.
Dear Donna, I’m so sorry that you’ve suffered so much pain, and so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m glad to hear that you feel his presence and sincerely hope that the knowing you share helps to ease your pain, and that the memories of what a strong light Rick was in your life still shine brightly for you and can bring comfort and healing. Sending you much love today xoxo
What a beautiful post Cindie, I love where you say that our deepest wounds are directly related to our life’s purpose. By healing ourselves we can then help others, there is always a purpose to any pain we suffer, even if we don’t know it at the time .. Fabulous xx
Thank you, Heather, for your kind words. So glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂 xo
These are some really beautiful truths you’ve uncovered and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve always believed there is beauty in the broken places – that’s where we learn the most. Sometimes growth takes place in the dark, but when that light shines again…oooh it feels so good!
Hi Cassandra, I appreciate your words “beauty in the broken places”, as Mary quoted Rumi in the comment previously – “the wound is where the light comes in”. I’m loving this discussion! So glad you enjoyed the article, thank you for your sweet words. Xo 🙂
How beautiful.
Thank you, Joy! So glad to hear that! xo 🙂
Thank you so much for addressing the broken-hearted rather then the ones lucky in love. On a day like this it’s not easy being single after a recent breakup, and encouraging words like yours are badly needed to help the healing process. Thank you for shining a light in the darkness of those, who have experienced loss and are still suffering.
Hi Christiane, I feel wonderful when I hear that this post feels supportive and healing. Thank you for your kind words…sending you Blessings today. xo 🙂
Cindie. This post emanates from a place of love. A love that has embraced the dark and the light. I think of my first love – it was open, reckless, naive – my passion wasn’t rationed at all. And regardless of how that ended, I’m so glad I did. Life feels so ripe when we open ourselves up to the full expression of love. I’m an advocate for living an embodied life – I’ll admit it, it takes courage and intention, but it is as you’re putting forward, worth it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. xx
Hi Lucy, I’m happy to know that you feel the love the post was written with and I so appreciate your kind words and willingness to share your experience, too. Thank you so much 🙂 xo
Thank you for this fabulous blog post Cindie.
I promised myself I would never allow my heart be broken and when it broke it felt and sounded to my ears, like a ceramic heart breaking because it was not soft and flexible and had not felt anything too deeply for years.
Yes, it hurt like hell and I thought I would surely die. But little by little I began to experience the world more vividly and everything took on a deeper meaning from music to nature to people.
As Rumi said ‘the wound is where the light enters’. I am now more in tune with the wisdom and compassion of my heart and how it connects me to others.
Keep up the good work you are doing here.
Mary x
Thank you, Mary, for your beautiful words and such open hearted sharing. Your experience is such a validation of this message. I so appreciate your kind words. 🙂 xo
Brilliant post – so well written. Thank you.
Thank you.Mary, I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🙂 xo
Such a gorgeous share. Thank you.
I agree that beneath our personal stories of broken heartedness we can access joy and wholeness. We can learn to Dig deep. Forgive, and let it go. Everything you want really is on the other side… So much love, Shann
Thank you, Shann, for your comments and love. And yes, I agree that digging deep and forgiveness and being able to let go are key mileposts on the journey. Appreciate your words so much. xo