One of this year’s holiday gifts that I’m enjoying the most was this book: Our Q and A a Day: 3-Year Journal for 2 People, (ghost written by the wonderful Alexandra Franzen!)

Yes.  You read that correctly. It is a three year journal for two people. Now…before you click away, thinking OMG my partner would NEVER write in a journal with me…let me just say, it’s been pretty painless so far, in fact it’s been wonderful. There are prompts and questions that you both can answer in a few words, without too much struggle, without thinking too hard.

Questions like “What was the last meal you enjoyed together?“…okay that one was easy, it was the last meal we had.

Or this one – “When was the last time your partner made you laugh out loud?” – Ummm, 1 minute ago? LOL. See?, easy.

Until today. Today, shit got real. Today, the question asked “What are your top three wishes?” Hmmm. At first I announced that I wasn’t answering those. Too hard. Too much thinking. Too serious. Handsome Sweetheart was all for skipping too.

Really I just didn’t want to answer because it didn’t feel good. But, why? “Why is this so hard?“, I silently pondered. And then it hit me, it is because I don’t wish. I pretty much don’t wish for things, in the same way I don’t choose to “hope” for things, at least not for myself.

A teacher of mine once said, “Hope is the most poetic form of victimhood.” That idea made a powerful impression on me.

Now, believe me, I do not want anyone in the world to feel hopeless, because that is a very dark, scary, place – but often the thing that restores hope is the power that comes with realizing that we can affect change. That we DO have the power to choose, to create, to improve our life, our world. Often this is brought about by the experience of Love. Including self-love. And when hope is restored it can be quickly replaced with empowerment, conscious intention, and purposeful action.

Because “wishing” and “hoping” always put me in the place (energetically and emotionally speaking) of feeling powerless.

If all I can do is wish, or hope that something turns out the way I want it to, then I have no power to bring that thing into the world. I put myself in the place of being a bystander, just watching, waiting, hoping. In that place all I can do is live at effect, and not at cause.

So, although I can wish or hope for things for others, “I wish you a happy day”, and “I hope you begin to feel better quickly”, I don’t generally make wishes or sit around hoping for things for myself.

I like to make conscious intentions instead, I like to take purposeful action. I choose to live at cause.

Yes, there will always be things that I “wish” for, and I also like to brainstorm the best way to bring them into reality, to set myself up for success, to have my “wishes” come true.

My most recent mentor and teacher, Hiro Boga, just asked for a group of us to list our three wishes for the new year – for ourselves, for our beloveds, and for the world.

I struggled a bit with this, at least for my own personal wish. Eventually I answered the questions with these words,”My deepest desire for myself is to come into the full bloom of what is possible using my gifts to bring more Love & Magic into the world. For my beloveds, for the world, I desire more Peace, more Joy, more Love.”

And although I did eventually answer the questions in the journal I’m keeping with my Handsome Sweetheart, I also wrote down a 4th “wish”: “That I would become an even fuller expression of Love.”

Because the more we love the more power we have. The more we love the more healing we bring. The more we love the more miracles, the more magic…and the more wishes coming true.

I mean really – who wants to be limited to just three?

Love & Magic.